Pause, Embody, Reset

We can't always control the many things that send us into a spiral. The problem isn't that the nervous system does its thing — it's that we live in a world of constant noise that doesn't let it rest. That, on top of being conditioned to not feel our feelings, not talk about the difficult things, to keep carrying "all that stuff back there" and push through, stay productive, keep a smile on our face — while living within systems that belittle, hurt, and harm us and others - that's a lot. And we haven't had breakfast yet. No wonder our nervous systems are so dysregulated.

Nurturing the nervous system is not about perfection. It's not about using strategies so we never feel our feelings. It's not about maintaining a constant guise of calm and positivity while pushing down our genuine worries, concerns, and fears.

It is about becoming aware of what our nervous system is doing in any given moment. With that awareness we can learn to take a pause and then come out of the head and into the body in order to take an inventory of what is going on in our body, and our nervous system, right now. And whatever it is – it's ok.

Pause

Take a conscious breath or a few. Let it become your new automatic response to any upset or imbalance. There are many breathing techniques. Explore and find one that works for you - whether it is just a slow intentional breath in and out or the 4/7/8 breath (Breathe Your Way To Balance), focus on the breath helps to shift focus from the thinking mind, into the body.

Embody

Now it's time to anchor in. To truly embody brings us back to reset. Presence alone doesn't hold the anchor that the body does. But the body brings us into grounded and embodied presence. This is the place that contains your power.

Are we holding tension? Allow any tightness to soften even just a little bit.

Are there feelings or body sensations present? Lean into them. Continue to breathe. This is a great place to bring in EFT Tapping (Unlock the Power of EFT Tapping: A Tool for Healing and Emotional Freedom) or to sit and journal.

Is there something we need to say or do? Maybe we are upset about something we are powerless to fix in this moment — the current state of the world offers no shortage of examples — and maybe we need to give space to our outrage or have a good cry. Sometimes that is exactly the regulated thing to do.

Feelings are not always a sign of dysregulation. Suppressing our feelings (or taking them out on others) is. Feelings are an essential part of embodiment. We need to feel our body including the sensations and feelings within it.

Sometimes it can be as simple as realizing that you've been so engaged in a project or your "to-do" list that you haven't eaten or hydrated yourself in a few hours. Sometimes you realize that you are carrying upset about something someone said or did a few hours earlier and at the time you didn't think it was a big deal.

You may not get clarity right away, but whatever is going on for you – it matters. And taking even just a few moments to pause and embody – without judging yourself - will move you to reset so that when you return to your doing you are coming at it from a refreshed place. Just as constantly being in survival stress takes its toll over time – practicing Pause, Embody, Reset will slowly build strength and resilience.

Check out the link below to access a free Pause, Embody, Reset practice that includes an anchoring breath and embodiment tips.

Reset

Reset doesn't always mean feeling a lot better. Sometimes it means feeling a little better, and that is enough. Even though things aren't solved, every time you pause, come into your body, inviting reset, you are disrupting an old survival pattern. That is not small. It takes practice and it takes time — and each time you do it, you are building something new. Now our rational mind can come back online. Now we can focus, concentrate, take in new information, see things from a different viewpoint. From here we can better make decisions, discern, set boundaries, and take non-reactive action — and we can feel our feelings without triggering fight, flight, or freeze.

Depending on the moment and how much time we have, sometimes the Pause, Embody, Reset will take seconds, other times it will take longer. With practice you will build greater capacity to remain in your body, feeling your feelings, and know what you need in any given moment whether that is sitting with your feelings, drinking a glass of water, or going for a run.

Over time, your inner strength and resilience will grow. You will become less concerned about controlling, or running away from, your life and be able to truly embrace it because you know how to navigate your nervous system, using Pause, Embody, Reset.

Pause. Embody. Reset.

It's something we do, over and over again, all day long. No judgement. Just pause, embody, reset.

If you are interested in a Pause, Embody, Reset practice join my free newsletter: Nurturing the Nervous System - A Path To Reclaiming You. The box to join is below. Be sure to also click the box (you will only receive the newsletter and you can unsubcribe any time).